- Five exceptionally mischievous high school seniors.
- One (if all goes well) terrified teenager.
- One trip through the reservation.
- The middle of the night.
- Gravel roads
- Enough roman candles to light a very, VERY old person’s birthday cake.
- One minority actor incredibly dedicated to his craft of previously mentioned “Drunk/Dead Indian.”
Cody isn’t a dummy. He had the foresight that this wasn’t the safest activity, and provided us with his one condition: because Cody is supposed to be incapacitated, he can’t have reflexes. Therefore, it is important that nobody closes the door on his foot. Ok. Fair enough.
We also had a couple of conditions. Both of them involved Johnny.
- Johnny is not allowed to have access to any of his guns (Yes. Plural.). This is for obvious reasons. We weren’t sophisticated enough to replace all of his ammo with blanks. Otherwise, this could have been a much cooler game.
- Johnny is not allowed to get behind the wheel of any vehicle, whatsoever. This is also for obvious reasons:
Spring Valley Ranch
Ryan, Drew, and Cody (already playing possum in the backseat) made their way down to Spring Valley Ranch. Once they arrived at the house, Ryan and Drew crept inside and downstairs into Johnny’s room.
The next bit is told according to Ryan. I trust his memory.
Ryan shook Johnny awake. Johnny’s expression was that of simply excruciating confusion. He didn’t really understand the panic on Ryan’s face, or why he was in his house with the new kid.
“Johnny. We need your help. We were driving out to Glenwood and we accidentally hit a Native guy.”
“Ok. So?” Johnny was still trying to figure out if this was a nightmare or if this was real life.
“We didn’t know what to do, so we put him in the car. We’re being followed. Somebody saw us. Johnny, you’ve gotta help us.”
“The canal!” Johnny said, as he jumped out of the bed and into some shorts. “We’ve gotta dump him in the canal!”
Oh. Oh no he didn’t. He freaking said to dump a dead body in the canal. He wasn’t supposed to say that. This is the part where Johnny is supposed to freak out about being involved in all of this. This is the part where Johnny is supposed to say something like “drop the guy off a hospital” or “we gotta call the cops” or something else that would have been the best course of action. They were supposed to try and convince Johnny to help them dump the body by the canal. They were supposed to convince him. It was supposed to be hard.
The Irrigation Canal
Text Message from Ryan:
Coming 2 canal now. Be ready.
“James! They’re coming right now! Here! We gotta be ready!”
Mark and I jumped back into the jeep and backed it up to the end of the little canal area by the fence. We got the blankets out of the back and draped them over the jeep so as to make it harder to see and prevent reflection from the headlights. We grabbed a couple of roman candles and the lighter and then went to hide.
Spring Valley Ranch
Okay, so… it should be obvious that you don’t just walk into some person’s house without having an inside man. That inside man was Johnny’s mom. We had previously arrange with her that we’d come into the house late and night to kidnap Johnny for his birthday. That way, we avoid people screaming and the possibility of getting the cops involved or (in the more likely event, seeing as this is Hillspring) getting shot. T
The guys left Johnny’s room and headed out the door, but not before Johnny’s mom came out of her bedroom. “Have a good time, boys!”
Johnny was apparently still out of it because he didn’t acknowledge it while grabbing is phone and Letterman jacket on the way out. They jumped in the car. Johnny and Drew squished together up in shotgun so nobody had to ride with the dead guy.
The Irrigation Canal
Mark and I watched as the Jetta approached the turnout to access the canal shoreline. The guys got out of the car, and opened the back doors to begin dragging unconscious Cody out of the car to his final destiny in the ditch.
When Cody was about half-way drug out of the car, Mark and I lit up a couple of roman candles and took aim at the group.
As the first of the shots were fired, the guys started screaming in panic.
“It’s the other Natives! Put him back in the car!” Ryan shouted.
Johnny stuffed Cody back into the car. And then he broke the rule – he slammed the door on Cody’s foot. Cody – dedicated method actor – didn’t even flinch.
The Jetta sped off down the gravel roads.
“We gotta get rid of this guy, NOW!” Drew told the guys.
“There’s a good ditch up ahead, let’s just chuck him out of the car and get out of here.” Ryan responded. Johnny nodded in agreement.
Mark and I took the blankets off the jeep and we jumped in to follow.
Text Message from Ryan:
Ditch near Turkey Trail.
Mark and I flew down that road way faster than is safe, and saw the Jetta’s taillights in the distance.
The Jetta
“I see their headlights. We need to ditch this body and get out of here NOW,” Ryan said.
They pulled to the corner, and Johnny jumped out and began to drag Cody’s body out of the car. He had just got him onto the grass and was beginning to roll him down into the ditch further.
“JOHNNY THAT’S GOOD LET’S GO! They’re almost here!”
Ryan started moving the car forward for Johnny to attempt an Indiana Jones-style maneuver.
That is when Cody came back from the dead. He grabbed onto Johnny’s legs and let out a yell.
Ryan and Drew screamed and took of in the car without Johnny, the open doors slamming shut with the speed.
Hello, my name is James.
I'm an Experience Chaser, Peanut-Gallery Philosopher, Serial Wantrepreneur, Devoted Daydreamer, Passionate Flavor Enthusiast, Amateur Family Historian, and Casual Photo & Film Hobbyist.
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